a season of lasts

This morning I received an email from a cousin who is reading this blog.  In the email, she said that she didn't think she could keep reading my posts if they were going to make her cry every time she read them.  The posts just remind her, she said, of how fast her own young son is growing up.

The problem is, I don't know HOW to write - without writing with emotion. Because to be completely honest, I am an emotional mess most of the time now.  It seems that everything is a "last"... his last first day of school, last yearbook picture, last year in the church youth group, last football season...

The first day of 1st Grade and
the night after my nightmare .

The night before Colton started 1st grade, I had a nightmare. I dreamt he was getting married and I was at the wedding - but he was only 6 years old.  It was a crazy dream.  And very revealing.  I was completely torn up that my baby was leaving the security of kindergarten and beginning "real school".  He was growing up much faster than I wanted. I remember I cried when I dropped him at his first day of 1st grade.  It was the only time I cried on Colton's first day of school - until this year. 

I am officially in the season of "lasts".  I don't like it but like it or not, it's here. And so, I apologize up front. My writing may bring tears from time to time - I'm sorry, I just can't help it. (Did I mention that I'm in a season of "lasts?!") But despite the emotional roller coaster on which his mother rides, rest assured that Colton will also bring us laughter and joy throughout this season. The boy can't help it. And for that, I am SO thankful.